“You are allowed to leave. No reason to stay is a great reason to go.” -unknown
At the end of the day, you are the author and creator of your individual life experiences. Therefore, you are allowed to leave any “story” that does not suit you. You are allowed to evolve and change at any point in your life for absolutely no reason at all into whoever you choose to be.
Just because someone tells you that you will never make it out of your neighborhood because you are not smart enough doesn’t mean that you have to believe him/her. Just because someone tells you that women “like you” are unlovable and there is a scarcity of love doesn’t mean you have to buy into it and change your behavior in ways that ultimately devalue yourself.
If I had listened to, and ingratiated myself into, every story and opinion that someone else had of me throughout my life, I would be in a very dark place right now, far away from my dreams, and I certainly would not be writing this right now.
Fortunately, I had parents and mentors who told me that the outcome of my life was up to me and that it would reflect the personal choices that I would make on a daily basis throughout the years. So this is what I am telling you today. It troubles me when I see people value the opinions of others more than they value their own inherent self-worth and internal guidance.
You are such an authentic gem to be cherished. If you tap into what makes you authentic and bring that into everything you do, you will soar! I don’t care who in the past has told you that you are somehow unworthy or unlovable because of who you are….the only person who has the power to make that statement come true in life is you.
You have control and hold all the power when it comes to your own life. Believe me when I tell you that whatever you dream of is possible. It certainly will not be easy, but waking up every day to a life that you are satisfied and fulfilled with is most definitely worth any sacrifice that you may make along the way.
One sacrifice may be the people who you surround yourself with. There will be other people who will try to keep you from bettering yourself or from writing the story that you desire for your life. Maybe you have decided that you don’t want to struggle financially anymore, maybe you have decided to lose weight, or maybe you have decided to open yourself up to all of the many different and wonderful experiences and people that the world has to offer. Trust me when I tell you that there is always someone there to say “no, you can’t do that” or “who do you think you are?”
More often than not, it is from someone who we admire and love dearly and whose thoughts and opinions actually matter to us. Many times, it isn’t even intentional or malicious, but often when other people see you attempting to break free from your current circumstance, it makes them feel uncomfortable. It challenges them to reread and potentially change their own stories. They will tell you that you cannot accomplish something based off of their own inferior feelings about themselves. Yet, they will never admit that to you and many times, they haven’t even acknowledged or admitted it to themselves. These people may be your close friends and family. Actually, most of the time they will be your close friends and family, but you are still allowed to leave any story that no longer suits you or supports wherever it is that you want to go.
Do not let them stop you. Do not let them make you feel bad for wanting something different. Never be ashamed for wanting to experience life in all of its glory. You are meant to change. You are meant to grow. Keep moving forward and, if you must, let your mama, daddy, cousin Sally, or uncle Joe know that while you love them and always will, it’s time to exit this old story so that you can create a new one. Whenever you have a choice to think big or think small, always thing big.
While it may be more difficult for you than it is for other people, all you need is the right mindset, a solid plan of action, and the dedication and consistency needed to follow the plan through.
Part 3 of 4 in a series called The Mindset of Success. Contributed by Dr. Tangie Watkins, Success Coach. You can learn more at Dr. Tangie | Going Deeper | Living Happier